Letting Go

Okay, this is not new.. I've been trying to let go since, like, what, 2 or 3 years ago?Let go of what,you say?Well, simply put, PORN

I suppose ppl will say I'm crazy and it's a silly idea.. I know a bunch of guys who would say "WHAT? HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" reading this.. but, anyways, porn is literally destroying my life..

I need to let go, but it's hard.. It's hard to even confess this sin to someone face-to-face.. I always pray to God that I want to let it go and change and ask Him to give me strength.. but then again it is always me myself who says "Oh, it's okay just this one time.." I suppose that's the devil at work..

2 weeks ago at church, after hearing about giving thanks to God for everything, I realized that my weakness actually had it's purpose.. First of all, if I hadn't had this weakness, I wouldn't have seeked God for an answer for it..Second, I suppose it is one of tests God wants me to go through.. Letting go of the things of the world and picking up the cross..When I prayed after the message, I thought about the failures I had in my life.. and I gave thanks, and cried for about 3 or 5 minutes.. I just couldn't hold back the tears.. I finally know in my heart that He has plans for me, plans He has carried out since I was a child..

Either ways, I need to let go.. and the count starts from today.. If I'm able to log on to the internet, I'll post.. even if just to remind myself I need to abstain.. I'm afraid that I would fall again into the devil's trap, but I believe I have Jesus on my side..
DAY 1 of abstinence